Don’t get CAUGHT!

Let me tell you a story. A jealous husband wanted to do away with his wife, but he wasn’t sure how to go about doing it. One day, he sat alone in a bar, soaking his misery in drink. A man approached him and said, "Hey, Buddy, I can help you with your problems if you’ll buy me a bottle." The jealous husband said, "Okay, Mac. I’ll buy you a bottle if you can tell me how to get rid of my wife." The stranger replied, "Go over to that booth and sit down. In a little while, somebody will come who will be able to help you."

"Thanks, Mac," said the jealous husband, and he went and sat in the booth. Soon a dark, sinister, hooded figure took the seat across from him.

"You call for Arty! Arty is here. I kill your wife for one dollar."

The jealous husband shivered in his seat, but he pulled himself together enough to say, "Okay, it’s a deal. But I don’t want it to be messy, and there can’t be any witnesses."

"Arty strangle victim. No mess and no witness. Arty do when time right."

"Good," the jealous husband said. "I want to be far away when it happens. My wife works at the grocery store two blocks from here. She has the late shift and usually is the last one out of the store."

"That make it better for me," Arty said. "You give me dollar now."

The husband paid the dollar, got a bus ticket and left town.

******

Arty cased out the store for several nights and watched as the wife of the jealous husband left work. One moonless night, he saw his window of opportunity. It was dark and the lighting in the parking lot was dim. Arty slipped out of his hiding place and quickly strangled the wife of the jealous man. But to Arty’s dismay, a bag boy had seen the dastardly deed. The boy ran into the store but was unable to lock the doors before Arty pushed his way in. Arty ran after the boy and strangled him, but again, he was alarmed. This time, the store manager had seen him commit his crime. Arty leapt up the stairs to the manager’s office and strangled him, too—but it was too late! The manager had already called 911 and the police were on their way. Arty got caught as he was leaving the parking lot. The next morning, the newspaper headline read: "Arty-Chokes Three for a Dollar at Safeway."

*****

Arty was good at what he did. He could choke as well as anyone. He was careful to map out the beginning, the middle . . . . Ah! But the end was something he hadn’t expected. And to make matters worse, the newspaper writer had conveyed the wrong plot. What could Arty have done to change the outcome of his story?

First, he should have raised his price to fifty thousand dollars. Then the editor of the paper would have written the headline differently. (Self-worth is a writer’s greatest need. BPORT groups help you know your own self-worth. Don’t sell out for a dollar!) Second, he should have been careful to watch for inherent problems, such as a bag boy who shows up at the wrong time. (A writer must be vigilant and careful about grammar, because it will tell on his or her ability. Other authors in your group can point out errors at an early stage.) Third, Arty needed to pay attention to the mechanics of the story before it was too late. The manager had seen the whole incident and reported it to the authorities. As a result, Arty was thrown in prison. (When a writer submits his or her manuscript for publication, an editor will review it and notice errors or honed writing. BPORT can help you polish your manuscripts and save them from ending up in the rejection pile.)

BPORT was created for you, to help you get published. Many authors in our critique groups have achieved great success. Read about the most recent success story in this newsletter.

The Blue Review is our latest tool to keep you from being caught. We not only offer some excellent articles and information, but we are also giving you the opportunity to get published and to be paid for it. I received $15 for my first magazine story. I paid $18 for a subscription to the same magazine. That’s not a very good profit margin . . . until you realize that it gave me a credit that helped sell my next story for $67.

Take advantage of what we are doing here at BPORT. It can and will help you if you are serious about your writing.

Don’t be an Arty-Choke! Get involved at BPORT so you don’t get caught!

Marv

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